I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
