I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
