if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
