just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
