Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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