you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
