I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
