bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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