On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
