Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We are two peas in an std pod
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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