apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
