Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
