Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
false alarm. still invincible.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
