Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
