It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
