The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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