Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
