Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
