did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
