He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
