I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
