Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize