end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
