Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
