everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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