The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
