Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
