He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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