I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
