does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
