Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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