He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
