He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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