Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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