i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
