no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
MIDGETS
????
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
