theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
