Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
