youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
