Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
