Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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