I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
