foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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