i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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