I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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