If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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