Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
