Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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