Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
