so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
