I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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