4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
