at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
