i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
