I saw his package. It spoke to me.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
