My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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