she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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