in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
