im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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